I’m Tired of Church

30 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Church, Daddy and I, Daddy's Daughter, Healed, Heart and Soul, Transparent, Truth Tags: , , , ,

This is not a Gentel Readers blog, this is a let’s talk about it and process it.

Now that you have my requirements for this blog let’s dive into this conversation, shall we.

So, I’m scrolling through IG and I see this Prophetic influencer talking about what another well known Christian influencer has said about her. She goes into a deep monologue about her issues with this Christian influencer. She shares her hurt, she speaks from a place of brokenness, and then she intentionally shares her “Prophetic Judgment “. Use starts off by saying… (The famous words) “GOD told me”…or “I heard the spirit of the Lord say”, Now, let me preference that this is not the first this person has done this.

Lately, this has been her M.O. and reading the comments is what really brought me to today’s topic… “I’m tired of Church”.

For the past year and a month I have been without a church home. I’ve visit several churches, went back to some old ones, did online, and even just not thought about it. In this space I realize how much tired I am of church.

Please, don’t get me wrong I love the biblical concept of church. I love fellowship, worshipping, exchanging amens, prayers, revelations and insight from the word we just heard; however, this feeling and capacity to do that in churches today is hard.

I know you want to know what happened with me and my last church. Well, pastor got burned out, due to the pandemic the church lost a lot of their congregation which caused higher debt, that lead to us losing the church.

Now, you got the background let’s dive into my process.

So, I grew up in church. I have always had some form of intentional fellowship in every church I went to. This fellowship can be the traditional kind, breaking bread and just talking. The spiritual kind, which usually included a small group. Or the flexibility kind, which is a combination of the two.

Lately, this lack of intentional fellowship has led me to the mindset of being tired of church along with the misuse of the influence, the lack of leadership accountability (see the beginning of blog), loss of church purposes, and the devaluing of gifts and titles. I want the church that seeks to move in a community centered fashion, while building bridges and tearing down walls.

I want the church looking for sick people, not the one judging those healed, healing, or in the process of moving towards healing. I don’t want the church that is quick to judge, I want the one quick to love. I want a church that doesn’t push their personal agenda and convictions on others or use it as a measurement of what righteousness looks like. I want a church that reflects the description of “the bride of Christ”.

Prayer: Daddy help us to not get tired of the place you call your bride. Help us with our church burnout, church frustrations, and church hurt. Remind us that the church building is not our place of negativity, but the people in it can be. Help us process our ability to forgive, heal, let go, move forward, learn, and hold on to your word, call, and purpose. In Jesus Name. Amen

I Am Worried

25 Aug 2022 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in A cry, A Daughter's Heart, Anxiety, Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Daughter Attitude, Transparent, Trusting Daddy, Truth, wholeness, Worried Tags: , , ,

Hey Readers!!! 
I know it’s been a while and I promise you all have been on my mind, but life… I am sure you all can understand how life’s ups and downs can get you so off-tracked and discouraged that you start to place energy away from your assignment onto the things you should surrender to GOD.  As I prepare to celebrate another year around the sun and a new year. I find myself worrying about things I haven’t worried about in the past. I am worried about being a great daughter to an elderly parent as an only child. I am worried if I am prepared to deal with the single life for another year with no children. I am worried if I can deal with the ups and downs of life healthy.  These worries have had me up since 4:34 am this morning asking Daddy to come to the table with Jesus for a “Come to Jesus” meeting. I asked Daddy how did I get here. What did I do or go wrong when it comes to how I have been living life for Him and with Him? I was so frustrated to point that I stop speaking and surrendering, that I start asking for a word. You know what Daddy did?!? He gave me a word not once but twice. The first word he gave me is found in
 Proverbs 12:25 NLT ” Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up”. The TPT version says “Anxious fear brings depression, but a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart”.

Both versions address what I have been feeling, worry and anxiety, which leads to a place of depression and lack of joy. But what really got me was part B of the scripture “an encouraging word restores joy to the heart.” Listen!!! I almost lost it because I realize I was so busy dwelling in the cave of worry and anxiety that I was not making way for the encouraging word. The word that could restore me… The word that would cheer me up. David said it best in 1 Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.” 

There are times in our worry and anxious moments when we must encourage ourselves in GOD. This means we must surrender. Let’s focus on part B of that scripture using the word surrender. “David surrendered himself to the LORD his GOD.” That scripture and the action of David take on a whole other meaning of what we should do when it’s time for us to encourage ourselves. It reminds us that to truly be in a position of encouragement we must surrender… not just the things we don’t have handled, but the things we have a handle on. 

The second word came from an ex that is a friend. He struggles with his GOD relationship and from day one of us meeting I have prayed that he would have an encounter with GOD that would change his life and push him into his GOD destiny and healing. This morning he says to me:

“Hey, something told me to call you to give you this scripture Phillipians 4:13, I am sure you are familiar with what it says, but I am going to remind you what it says…You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you. This doesn’t include failure. So, no matter what you go going on, you are promised success”. Now I am on the phone with tears coming out of my eyes saying, ok Daddy you really do love me. Because he got out of his comfort zone just to be obedient to give me that word.  I want to encourage someone you may feel like your ability to encourage others may be in vain or you may be sowing seeds on bad ground, but let me tell you the process, the seeds, the wait, and obedience are so worth it. Mind-blowing blessings are on the way keep up the work and stay in the posture of surrendering. 

Today I challenge us to do three things 1) surrender EVERYTHING to GOD; 2) give an encouraging word to someone so you can have room to be encouraged; 3) trust the timing and promises of GOD. The wait may seem heavy; however, the fruit is great and worth the process (preaching to myself)

Prayer: Daddy we surrender all!!! All to you and the things you have in store for us. We surrender the things we think we have control of, and we make room for you. We expect you to handle everything that concerns us because you are not a man that you would lie to, and your words say we can trust you.  In Jesus’ Name. AMEN!

It Hurts When People Drop Me

04 Nov 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in #bloglikecrazy, Daddy's Daughter, Oh My Soul, Soul Detox, Transparent Tags: , , ,

So when I was thinking about this blog, I was going to talk about how people drop you so quickly when things don’t go right between the two of you. I was going to touch on how the selfishness of others can cause them to drop you when they should be picking you up. That when people drop you they leave a footprint of rejection on your life. But Daddy had another plan and because ” I just want to be obedient”. (Topic from day1 of #bloglikecrazy) I am going to do that.

When Daddy turned this blog around he brought me to 2 Samuel 4:4 where we learn about Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth. This verse discussed what happens when someone drops you. You become crippled. What got me were the verses before and after the drop. There was a sense of fear that came over the kingdom and the people. The person in charge at the time had no answers to what to do and how to fight, yet he found time to rest. In his resting, he was killed. (this happens all before the drop) The people that killed him bring his head to King David as a sign of victory but in return are killed themselves.  (these things happen after the drop) My question is what happens in the middle of the drop? A lot of times we are in a place where someone has dropped us that it cripples us to wanting or desiring to go to our next. We find ourselves depending on others to take care of us. This is where we see Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel chapter 9. David has done everything up to this point that Daddy told him he would do as king. But, he is reminded of the covenant he had with Jonathan and asked this simple question in verse 1: “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive–anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake”? He gets his answer in verses 3-6a of this chapter. 

See, what I realize in this story about Mephibosheth is, though he was dropped, abandoned, and forgotten, someone remembers the promise attached to his legacy. King David realized that though he had completed the works Daddy had called him to, he had not honored his friend or the covenant he made with him. How does this apply to us about being hurt when people drop us? Though Mephibosheth’s nursed dropped him to the point of crippling him, Daddy saw an opportunity to revise the legacy of a friendship. He saw an opportunity for what was broken and had no value to gain value and wholeness again. That’s exactly what Daddy wants to do for us after people have dropped us. He wants to revise us, give us value, and make us whole again.

I know you are wondering what is the moral to this blog? That though they hurt you when they drop you, Daddy is going to make sure that your crippling experience will cause you to grab the attention of a king.  That king will be reminded of the promises attached to your legacy and will call you to sit at this table and enjoy the fruits of his labor.

Prayer:  Daddy thank you for the reminder that when people drop us, that it will not hurt our legacy.  Thank you for helping us to remember that we are worth to sit at the king’s table no matter how broken we look to others, you see us whole and valuable. We thank you that you have given us the boldness and bravery that we need to forgive those that dropped us, causing us to be crippled by fear, frustration, loneliness, and bitterness. In Jesus Name. Amen

P.S. #bloglikecrazy day 3 completed

Birthday Behavior

26 Sep 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Daily Living, Oh My Soul, Purposed, Soul Devotion, Soul Series, Speak to My Soul, Thankful, Transparent Tags: , , ,

Hello Readers!!!

I know, I know!!! I haven’t posted in two weeks!! But, can I be honest I haven’t had the energy and know how to post, what you need in order to be in encouraged. So, I had to get my life and pray about what I needed to share with you.

So, today is a special day. I didn’t want to release this blog on Tuesday as usual because I wanted you to be a part of my birthday celebration. Yes, today is my birthday and I am super excited about it. Every year for the last 6 years I have always been in a funk when it is time for my birthday countdown. I would find myself comparing where I should be to where I am. I would think about all that I lost. My areas of lack. My areas of fear and frustration. Anything negative, I thought about it as my birthday approached. But, this year was different I don’t know what happened or when it happened. (That’s usually how Daddy works. He will shift you and transition into your next without you  being fully aware of the shift or the transition).

Today is not your usual blog.  It is a blog filled with revelation and insight. One to encourage you to enjoy life in spite of! This blog is to bring you more aware of what is going on with you. What Daddy wants to do through you. How you can live the abundant life that Jesus talks about in John 10:10

Let’s get started!!!

As I prepared for today I decided to do three things. 1. Reflect. Not on what I wanted and needed. Not on what I did not have. But, reflect on the fact that I did not look like what I had been through. I start to look at pictures from the last 6 years. I saw how I lost and gain weight. I saw how my mask sometimes showed, but no one confronted me about it. I saw how I pushed through despite feeling like life was not even worth living. 2. Realize. I came to the realization that who I am will never be who everyone needed me to be. I will not be able to please everyone, fit there mode, or even be accepted by everyone. Last 3. Revelation. I got the revelation that I have not lived up to my full potential. That I have allowed myself to become complacent, fearful, and doubtful. I found myself comparing myself to people I thought I wanted to be, instead of asking Daddy what He needed me to be.

 

Through these decisions, five things were birth out of me. 1. Concentration. I realize that I need to focus on what is in front of me. Learn from what is behind me. Prepare for what is ahead of me.  By doing these things I will be able to be productive. 2. Consistent. When you create a routine that works keep working it. Keep building on it. Having foundation is the key to success and consistency is the cornerstone. Daddy is consistent, and because we are made in His image we must be the same. 3. Courage. You must be bold enough to think outside your box. To be in a position where you are willing to say “Yes,” in spite of the test. Your “Yes”, can’t be compromised due to your discomfort. Which brings me to the fourth thing…4. Comfort. You must become comfortable being uncomfortable. See the more you get used to being uncomfortable the more you get shifted and transited into your next. Last but not least 5. Completion. This one is hard because I am so goal oriented that I felt like this referred to my assignment and not me as a person. But, this completion is about being whole. It’s about realizing that what you thought you needed was not what you really needed. It’s about being ok with you despite your flaws. It’s the summary of everything I have discussed with you so far.

So, I am sure you are wondering how can all this information help you out. What can you do with this information? Simple. Use it. Look and see what you need to work on in the three decisions. What decisions do you need to make that you haven’t made? What decisions do you need to re-evaluate? The five things birth out of me… Well, those or my tools, revelations, elements of life. They are the things that I need for this next chapter. They can be some or all that you need in your current journey.

Today, I challenge you to use my birthday to create a new year for you. No, not a new you, a new year. We are always waiting for January 1 for us to start all over. But, the reality is, our new year starts every time we open our eyes and breathe the breath of life.

Prayer: Daddy, we thank you for this moment. The moment to breathe, your breath of life. The moment to really get somethings straight in our lives. We thank you for the ability to point out the things we need to deal with. The thing that we need to evaluate and make decisions about in our lives. We realize we do not have time to waste, and we must stay in tune with you. Thank you for your guidance through your Holy Spirit. This moment could not be productive without your Holy Spirit. In JESUS name! AMEN!Birthday 2018

I Am Over IT!

22 Aug 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Courage, Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Daily Living, Mental Health, Purposed, Transition, Transparency, Transparent, Trusting Daddy Tags: , , , ,

Daddy, I am over it! The heartache, the frustration, the cycles, the relationships, the rollercoaster ride of emotions, the debt, the worry, the stress, the fear, the disappointment, the failures, setbacks, and setups. I AM OVER IT!!!

This is the conversation that I had a few days ago with Daddy as I sat in my living room crying and stressing over the bill collectors calling me, worrying about how I am going to pay, this and that. This is the mindset I had when I thought about the investment I poured into so many relationships and friendships. This is even the mindset I had when it came to church too. I was OVER IT!!!

Have you ever been there? To the point, you were over everything that affected your life in such a negative way? I mean to the point you even contemplated taking your life? Well, that was me. Yep, this is a transparent moment. One that I think plenty people have but are ashamed to admit. I mean who wants to be in the position of showing that they trust GOD and then turning around and saying life is not worth living anymore?

This is probably going to be a real transparent moment for me because I have not told anyone, but you, my readers this.  I have been keeping these things bottled, masked, and hidden. I mean I am a licensed therapist and minister, how does it sound and look for me to be speaking or thinking suicidal thoughts? But, there I was only a week ago in my living room trying to Netflix and chill and these were my thoughts.

But, guess what? The same things that I just told Daddy that I was over, are the same things that He was trying to use to get me to my next. UGH!! Don’t you hate it when Daddy uses the things you hate to get you to your next? How He uses issues, situations, circumstances, and failure to show you how to grow. To birth out new assignments, ideas, and gifts? How He takes your constant complaining and creates a moment for you to experience His glory and presence?

I hate it, but it’s in those same moments that I realize how much GOD is  I AM! I AM is over it, and I AM is in it. He takes over and uses His strength to create new beginnings for us to be in Him and over IT … The IT is us. We are the IT!!! I mean the IT is our…..will, word, and way.  It is our ability and desires to want to operate in our strength, mindset, and emotions.

But how do we get over the IT? By allowing Daddy to be it. I was reminded of the game tag. How the object of the game when being IT, is to tag as many people as you can before they get to the base. That’s what Daddy wants to do. He wants to tag as many of your problems before they get to the base of your mind and you feel defeated instead of victorious.  That’s why I John 5:4 says “for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith”.

So today do me a favor join me in playing a game of tag. Let your problems run but allow Daddy to be IT!

Prayer: Daddy, thank you that you have already told us that you will handle all that concerns us. We thank you that even when it seems like our problems are weighing us down to the point we want to give up on life, we will tag you and allow you to be it. You are the source of our strength and everything that we need to get through every moment of our lives. We thank you for being IT. In JESUS name. Amen!

Transition

24 Jul 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in #Chapter35, #FinishStrong, Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Daily Living, GOD Trust, He will, Legacy of A Daughter, Ocean Faith, Open Heart, Relentless Faith, Soul Detox, The Reality, Transition, Transparency, Transparent, Trusting Daddy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I know it’s been a while and I do apologize. I am realizing that in order for this thing to really work you all need to hear from me.  So today you, my readers are my accountability partners. That’s right I have given you the task to email me at: shawndrikaLcook@gmail.com if you aren’t getting a blog once a week. See we must realize that we are meant to do life alone, and sometimes strangers, people we don’t know are for us will hold us accountable. So welcome ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS!

With that being said let’s talk about transition! So for the past 4 months, I have been in a place of total transition. I went from working a full 8-5 in my field, to leaving there and doing ministry full time!! Yep, ministry FULL TIME!!!  Now I know you are wondering what causes me to make this move. I mean I just passed my licensure examine only a year ago, I have not been a private practice therapist at all, and now I am in ministry. To answer the question of why, is simple, obedience. But, in my obedience, the walk and the focus of my next has been hard.  I find myself feeling lost, confused, out of place, ill-prepared,  hopeless, distraught, and discourage. Any negative feelings that a human being can express… This girl expressed them and more. I know you are wondering why did you experience all these negative emotions. I mean you were being obedient right? Well, here is the thing with obedience comes sacrifice, thought 1 Samuel 15:22  states, “Obedience is better than sacrifice”.  There is a sacrifice that comes with obedience. Maybe I shouldn’t say a sacrifice, there is a surrendering that comes with it. To some that surrendering position can feel like a sacrifice. I mean give up everything you know just to be submerged into something you know nothing about.

So, here I am in the 5th month of the transition and I am stuck! Yep, stuck like a truck in the mud. I am not writing this blog from a place of overcoming this time. This time I am writing to you while the process is still going. While I am still in the place of getting to the prize or the next that GOD has called me to. I am in that,  “I have to more trust GOD moments”, rather than “I will figure something out moments”. I’m at a place where I need the manifestation whether than being on ok with waiting for the manifestation.

I know someone who is reading this is wondering why am I telling the story as it is happening? Well. it’s because you need to know the process of transitioning. When you are in a place where the transition is not by choice, but assignment there are certain things you can’t control or deal with because you truly trust Daddy to guide your every step. For instance, I can’t control the demands that my assignment has on my life. I took a $2500 pay cut, yet I have not wanted for anything for real. I have tried to apply for a second job with the conviction that I couldn’t because of the demands of this assignment.

Why tell you the now of my transition for real?!? Because you need to know that transition is worth it!!! It’s worth leaving something that you do know for something you don’t know. It’s worth moving beyond you to get to Daddy. It’s worth the process… OOOOOO!!! That’s a word PROCESS!!! The process will be the foundation of your transition. How you see your process will determine how long you will stay in your transition. If you see your process as a burden, then your transition will last longer, because you are not able to receive the benefits of the process. But, if you see the process as a purpose, that it pushes you to your next, stretches you to another level in GOD, and betters your faith and trust in Daddy. Then the transition will be short and one that you can talk about as part of your testimony. Let me say this I don’t care what kind of transition you experience good or bad, no one likes the discomfort that comes with it. No one likes being in limbo where you aren’t sure what’s going on, but you know where you are going. No one likes looking at the preview of their promise and wondering when they will get there. These are the feelings of transition.

Today, I want to encourage someone to keep pressing in their transition!!! Keep enjoying the process no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Remember this transition is not about you, but about those who are looking at you. You are the only manifestation of GOD they may see! This is about your legacy, your future, your next…DON’T FORFEIT IT!!!

Prayer: Daddy transition is not easy. It can be uncomfortable and stressful if we don’t allow You to guide us. Today we say guide us!!! Open our ears to your instructions. Open our minds to the thoughts that you have towards us. Remind us that your thoughts towards us are good and they have the outcome of your perfection. Open our eyes that we don’t see things in the natural but in the spirit. Let us see the manifestation of the prayer that the Prophet Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17, where he said: “LORD open his eyes so he can see”. Daddy open our eyes so we can see. Let us see your hand of protection and provision on us. Let us see your wisdom, knowledge, and understand. Let us see that your plan is great than our process. Daddy, help us with our words. Help us speak the words that line up with your will, word, and way. Let us not get so frustrated in this transition that we forget the power of our tongue. That we speak life when we feel like death is trying to overtake us. We respond to situations and people with a soft answer. Daddy, be our Jehovah Shalom and let us experience your peace like never before. Be Jehovah Jierha so we can know that you will provide and meet our needs and wants. Daddy, we thank you that we will be the examples we need to be during this time of transition. In JESUS name AMEN!!!

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