Selfish Heart

28 Aug 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in A cry, Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Dangerous Prayer, Legacy of A Daughter, Oh My Soul, Open Heart, Soul Detox, Soul Devotion, Soul Series, Transition, Transparency Tags: , , , ,

This has been a tough pill to swallow. Because this whole time I have made it my goal to pursue Daddy in a way I never pursue Him before. I feel so defeated and disappointed in myself. I feel like what is the use of the Christian journey if this is going to be the end result of my efforts of getting close to Daddy. But, here is the thing this is where the enemy wants me.  Question have you ever felt like where I am? Have you ever felt doubtful, hopeless, and discourage in your pursuit to seek Daddy? Have you ever felt like it wasn’t worth it? Can I tell you something that has really saved me from feeling guilty and unworthy of Daddy’s presence and love (because those are the emotions that I felt when I realize this was my heart), His grace and mercy is new daily!!! I know that seems so simple but not good enough. I know it seems like there should be more to help with a selfish heart. But after realizing how selfish I was.  I heard the Holy Spirit say ” His grace is sufficient.” ( 2 Corinthians 12:9).

How awesome is our Daddy, that He knew that one day we would make time to pray the prayer, asking him to search our hearts and finding out the selfishness that was in it… that He put a clause in place that would cover us. His grace covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
In all of this, I never thought that I would feel free as I feel now. I am in a place where I know there are some root issues that I need to deal with. That I need to learn how to apply the fruits of the spirit in a life applicable way. That I have to love in spite of how I feel or what they did. Because Daddy first love me (1 John 4:19), and there is nothing greater than love. (1 Peter 4:8). That His joy is my strength (Psalms 28:8) and in Him can I only find peace. (2 Thessalonians 3:16). That long-suffering create perseverance (Matthew 24:13) and gentleness creates a place of forgiveness (Philippians 4:5).

Goodness creates confidence (Psalms 27:13), faith ties the fruits of the Spirit together creating boldness in you (2 Peter 1:5-7). Meekness creates the opportunity for you to gain an inheritance (Matthew 5:5) and self-control keeps you out of trouble (Proverbs 21:23).

Today I challenge us to not meditate on the selfishness of our hearts, but the fact that they can become selfless if we just apply the word of God to our lives.

Prayer:  Daddy, we come to say thank you that your grace is sufficient enough to cover the multitude of sins that our heart creates. Thank you for taking out the time to examine our hearts and not allow us to remain selfish. Thank you that you have allowed the fruits of the Spirit to come in and take over that we may be better sons and daughters. Helps us to remain in a place of faith and examination. That we will not get settled where we are, but we will grow in your light and remain selfless and not selfish. In JESUS  name! Amen

Transition

24 Jul 2018 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in #Chapter35, #FinishStrong, Daddy and I, Daddy Daughter Faith, Daddy's Daughter, Daily Living, GOD Trust, He will, Legacy of A Daughter, Ocean Faith, Open Heart, Relentless Faith, Soul Detox, The Reality, Transition, Transparency, Transparent, Trusting Daddy Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I know it’s been a while and I do apologize. I am realizing that in order for this thing to really work you all need to hear from me.  So today you, my readers are my accountability partners. That’s right I have given you the task to email me at: shawndrikaLcook@gmail.com if you aren’t getting a blog once a week. See we must realize that we are meant to do life alone, and sometimes strangers, people we don’t know are for us will hold us accountable. So welcome ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS!

With that being said let’s talk about transition! So for the past 4 months, I have been in a place of total transition. I went from working a full 8-5 in my field, to leaving there and doing ministry full time!! Yep, ministry FULL TIME!!!  Now I know you are wondering what causes me to make this move. I mean I just passed my licensure examine only a year ago, I have not been a private practice therapist at all, and now I am in ministry. To answer the question of why, is simple, obedience. But, in my obedience, the walk and the focus of my next has been hard.  I find myself feeling lost, confused, out of place, ill-prepared,  hopeless, distraught, and discourage. Any negative feelings that a human being can express… This girl expressed them and more. I know you are wondering why did you experience all these negative emotions. I mean you were being obedient right? Well, here is the thing with obedience comes sacrifice, thought 1 Samuel 15:22  states, “Obedience is better than sacrifice”.  There is a sacrifice that comes with obedience. Maybe I shouldn’t say a sacrifice, there is a surrendering that comes with it. To some that surrendering position can feel like a sacrifice. I mean give up everything you know just to be submerged into something you know nothing about.

So, here I am in the 5th month of the transition and I am stuck! Yep, stuck like a truck in the mud. I am not writing this blog from a place of overcoming this time. This time I am writing to you while the process is still going. While I am still in the place of getting to the prize or the next that GOD has called me to. I am in that,  “I have to more trust GOD moments”, rather than “I will figure something out moments”. I’m at a place where I need the manifestation whether than being on ok with waiting for the manifestation.

I know someone who is reading this is wondering why am I telling the story as it is happening? Well. it’s because you need to know the process of transitioning. When you are in a place where the transition is not by choice, but assignment there are certain things you can’t control or deal with because you truly trust Daddy to guide your every step. For instance, I can’t control the demands that my assignment has on my life. I took a $2500 pay cut, yet I have not wanted for anything for real. I have tried to apply for a second job with the conviction that I couldn’t because of the demands of this assignment.

Why tell you the now of my transition for real?!? Because you need to know that transition is worth it!!! It’s worth leaving something that you do know for something you don’t know. It’s worth moving beyond you to get to Daddy. It’s worth the process… OOOOOO!!! That’s a word PROCESS!!! The process will be the foundation of your transition. How you see your process will determine how long you will stay in your transition. If you see your process as a burden, then your transition will last longer, because you are not able to receive the benefits of the process. But, if you see the process as a purpose, that it pushes you to your next, stretches you to another level in GOD, and betters your faith and trust in Daddy. Then the transition will be short and one that you can talk about as part of your testimony. Let me say this I don’t care what kind of transition you experience good or bad, no one likes the discomfort that comes with it. No one likes being in limbo where you aren’t sure what’s going on, but you know where you are going. No one likes looking at the preview of their promise and wondering when they will get there. These are the feelings of transition.

Today, I want to encourage someone to keep pressing in their transition!!! Keep enjoying the process no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Remember this transition is not about you, but about those who are looking at you. You are the only manifestation of GOD they may see! This is about your legacy, your future, your next…DON’T FORFEIT IT!!!

Prayer: Daddy transition is not easy. It can be uncomfortable and stressful if we don’t allow You to guide us. Today we say guide us!!! Open our ears to your instructions. Open our minds to the thoughts that you have towards us. Remind us that your thoughts towards us are good and they have the outcome of your perfection. Open our eyes that we don’t see things in the natural but in the spirit. Let us see the manifestation of the prayer that the Prophet Elisha prayed for his servant in 2 Kings 6:17, where he said: “LORD open his eyes so he can see”. Daddy open our eyes so we can see. Let us see your hand of protection and provision on us. Let us see your wisdom, knowledge, and understand. Let us see that your plan is great than our process. Daddy, help us with our words. Help us speak the words that line up with your will, word, and way. Let us not get so frustrated in this transition that we forget the power of our tongue. That we speak life when we feel like death is trying to overtake us. We respond to situations and people with a soft answer. Daddy, be our Jehovah Shalom and let us experience your peace like never before. Be Jehovah Jierha so we can know that you will provide and meet our needs and wants. Daddy, we thank you that we will be the examples we need to be during this time of transition. In JESUS name AMEN!!!

The Wind of Friction

04 May 2017 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daddy and I, Daddy's Daughter, Fearless, Legacy of A Daughter, Wise Words

So today while at prayer Daddy revealed to me the purpose of wind. No it’s not just to circulate the pollen in the air or keep us cool. The wind at its greatest speed will cause a great friction to occur that will cause things that were hidden or unknown to be revealed. Don’t believe me? Let me give you scripture to back it up. Mark4:38-41

38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

 

Now I know you are saying what did the wind reveal in these verses? Well something great actually. Let’s examine each verse to see how the wind revealed some great things starting with 38. In verse 38 we see two things that were revealed. The comfort, peace, and calmness of Jesus and the doubt of the disciples. Verse 39 we see the authority of Christ and the obedience of the wind. Verse 40 reveals the hearts of the disciples, their lack of faith, and dare I say it religious mindset. Ok let me pause because someone might get offended. But let me say this. These men had seen Jesus heal the sick, raise the dead, feed 5,000 with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread with leftovers, and never went without anything. Yet they did not feel that Jesus the one that did all of this, could not save them from the strength of a might wind? This is the mindset of some believers (me included) if it’s a great thing Daddy can do it but he does not specialize in the minor. WRONG!!! He specializes in all things concerning his children whether it is corporately or individually. Minor or Major. Religion in the sense I am talking about, is doing the action without the relationship. Or in disciples case seeing the work and going through the motions of following without realizing the work, works for them. I  know that sounds  heavy (in the words of my sister) so let me break this down in simple terms. That’s like getting saved but not realizing it comes with benefits for the here and now. That’s like having bluetooth capabilities and still holding the phone because you are not use to the accessibility that the bluetooth gives you. I hope you get it. So in summary, the disciples had access to Jesus and knew with him that miracle, signs, and wonders would happen but they forgot that it applied to them as well…. That’s religion…. Ok, lets examine the last and final verse…Verse 41, which revealed three things… 1. That the disciples had allow the spirit of fear to consume them so much that even after Jesus gave them peace, they were still doubtful. 2. The disciples realized the authority of Jesus. 3. (Last, but not least) The disciples hearts had fail to realize who they were truly connected to. Isn’t that crazy that after all that Jesus had done in these verses they were still left with questions. But that’s like us, right. We ask Daddy to do something, give us a sign, or answer a prayer… He does it and we are still left questioning things about him. But I am here to tell you that the friction of the wind also creates space and opportunity for something new. Even thought verse 41 ends with a questions it also create the moment of growth that lead to so many great historical and biblical events. Events that gave us access to Daddy. So the questions now come: Are you ready for the friction of the wind in your life? Are you ready to see the heart that the wind will reveal when it comes to your relationship with Daddy? I know I am ready for the wind…it maybe painful, but it will at least create the opportunity and moment for me to passionately pursue JESUS and draw closer to Daddy.

Prayer: Daddy thank you, that though the winds in our lives may seem strong and unmanageable, we can call on the name JESUS and find peace, rest, and calmness. We thank you that it’s at the name of JESUS that the winds must obey. We thank you, that we will never doubt or have little faith in the things of you Daddy.  Draw us closer to you through the winds of your glory, your peace, your grace and mercy. In Jesus Name, AMEN!

Mask OFF

14 Feb 2017 2 Comments

by CEOTherapist22 in Chosen, Daddy and I, Daily Living, Fearless, Freedom, He will, Healed, Legacy of A Daughter, Life Words, Transparency Tags: , , , , ,

#HappyLOVEDay!!! I am so excited about today even in my singlehood, because to day is a day of conquering for me. Today I shared with a group of sorority sisters… Something I don’t talk about a lot and haven’t shared with a lot of people. Today I told them that Valentine’s Day a.k.a Love Day is a trigger for me. About the age of I will say 22 I was madly in love and thought everything was about to fall in place in life. I was graduating and engaged.. But on V-Day that engagment ended and my heart was crush. I got over it and then 2010 on this same day my ex husband took my hand and declared his love for me at the altar. Romantic right?? But you did see ex in front of husband…lol After our divorce V-Day was never the same for me for 5 years on this day I would contemplate suicide, feelings of worthlessness would overtake me, and I would find myself in this deep depression. I would be smiling on the outside but tore up on the inside. I shared this with my sorority sisters and some where shock… The room got silent and heavy.. (I don’t like those moments) but it was then that I realize how free and delievered I was from this pain of 5 years. I was able to share it with truth. Why am I sharing this with you? Because the the standards of society can overtake the standards of GOD if we allow it. I had allowed this to happen to me and I had to let GOD love me back to his standards of love. I felt lost and confused trying to fit in, when I was already in, but the enemy had me feeling I wasn’t. I want you to know whether you have someone or not. The standard of the world’s idealogy of love will never outlast the standards of GOD’s love. Don’t allow your singleness overtake you that you miss the moments of GOD’s love, and don’t allow your security in having a spouse make you forget your first love. Also I want you to know that if it hadn’t been for yall loving me in those 5 years I would not be able to share this. Your love unknowingly saved me. So on today make sure you love on purpose. Spread the love. I know we should do this everyday, but take advantage of this day. Where the world is open to love and the idea of love and let someone know this doesn’t have to be a one day out of the year moment, but a everyday moment. Love you  and thank you for loving me with purpose and tension.

Soul Detox Prayer

15 Dec 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in A cry, Daddy and I, Freedom, Healed, Legacy of A Daughter, Life Words, My Position, Open Heart, Soul Detox Tags: , , , ,

Daddy, I realize I’m going backward and not forward.  My flesh is out ruling my spirit because I’ve given into it daily. I’ve allowed myself to be overcome with thoughts of what my flesh wants and not what you want for me. My heart is heavy and filled with emotions I can’t bare to carry or talk about. I feel so alone that I have reduced myself to the now fix, than the GOD fix. I’ve open doors you have shut and shut doors you have open; I’ve tainted them with my sinful nature just to numb the pain of the process. I ‘ve lost hope, faith, and trust in you because it seems as though you keep working in my later when I need you in my now. I’ve kept silent far too long Daddy, trying to have the faith of your word. I feel lost and confused and you are the only one I can turn to. The world and country I live in is more divided as ever, and it feels like your victory is but a distant memory. What can I say or do to get you to move on my behalf? My tongues feel traditional, my heart empty, and my prayers muffled. My soul is in need of a dexto from You. I find myself screaming Your name, pleading for the blood to cover every guilty stain. I try to stay under the umbrella of your mercy and grace, but then I find myself being out of place. I want you Daddy and all you called me to be. But right now this assignment of being me seems too heavy for me. To be your standard, daughter, and bride. To be the one that never gets caught up in her pride. To be strong in your strength, operate in your gifts, and yield to your will; is not a stroll in the park. Daddy my soul needs the reminder of your love manifested in my now and interrupting my later. My soul needs the reminder of Your why. Why do you want me, why do you need me, and why don’t you move in my timing? My soul needs your detox. The detox that clears my vision, restores my heart, guides me through the ups and downs, and shows me how to put me to the side. My soul needs the dexto of your joy, for you said in your word ” I can find strength in it.” You said it will be an exchange for my weakness. My soul needs your peace, for in it Your understanding will be released. I can see clearly now when your peace over takes me. Detox me Daddy for my soul is filled with thoughts of failure, fear, destruction, negativity, and hidden secrets. Remind me that your thoughts towards me are good, and so are the plans for my life. Remind me of the victorious victory of this fixed fight. DADDY DETOX ME!!! That my spirit man can be free in your liberty and my heart can show your love alone. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I won’t become intoxicated with the instant gratification of this world, caught up in the politics of this nation, and overwhelmed by the words of men that state you can’t and don’t exist. DADDY DETOX ME!! That others connected to me can remember they are joint heirs of Christ, there is no lack in their lives, and you are the supplier of all their needs. DADDY DETOX ME!! That my husband can find me working for your kingdom, and serving your people. DADDY DETOX ME!! So I can have the faith to speak life to dead situations, see miracles, signs, and wonders. DADDY DETOX ME!! that my heart never feels the weight of disappointment. DADDY DETOX ME so I can be and look like your daughter again because right now I feel alone and abandoned. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, so I can feel your presence every morning and every day. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME, because I don’t know how much more my soul can take. DADDY DETOX ME so the enemy has no case against me. DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!! DADDY DETOX ME!!

In Jesus Name,

 

AMEN

The Benefits of Being Thankful

07 Apr 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daddy and I, Encouragement, Legacy of A Daughter, My Position, Thankful, Thanksgiving, Transparency Tags: , , ,

Good Tuesday Morning!!! I. I was reading my prophetic devotional  and it was talking about about dealing with the anti-Christ but today was really one that convicted me. It was talk about how to use Thanksfulness/Thanksgiving in order to fight and deal with the anti-Christ. Can I be honest I have found it difficult to be thankful when: I am so tired when it comes to my job, my singlehood, and just overall life status. I know the word says in all things give thanks and please know that’s my goal and that’s why this edition of the devotional convicted me with a passion to ask daddy for a vision of thankfulness. I realize that life will never go the way WE plan but thank GOD his plan is perfect. Thanksgiving and the heart of thanks opens doors for the more enough. When JESUS gave thanks for the five loaves of bread and two fish it went from feeding a little boy and his family to feeding 5,000 and they had leftover to take home. LEFTOVERS!!! Let me just settle right there. When we get to a place of thanksgiving with a thankful heart Daddy will allow us to have leftovers.. In other words the overflow is in your thankfulness. Let’s examine one more benefit of thankfulness. It causes Daddy to take on the issues of our heart. Phil.4:6-7″ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” Not only does thankfulness meet my heart need, but it grants me the peace of GOD, a mindset to trust him in the things of my heart, protect me, and for GOD to make my issue his priority. In the words of my sister oh that preach right there!

Prayer: Daddy so many times we miss the moments to give you thanks dealing with us and our issues. We sit complaining, contemplating, comparing, and coercing things in our life to reflect what we think our life should be when we should be giving you thanks. Daddy forgive us for being in our will when all we had to do is take time and be in yours. Daddy forgive us for not always not having a heart and the speech of thankfulness. Daddy today want to take the time out and say thank. Thank you for being so great to us. Thank you for being our provider, provision, and promise keeper. Thank you for life, healthy, and strength. Thank you for your word that says I am more than a conqueror in you through Christ JESUS. Thank you Daddy that no matter what situation, circumstance, issue, or problem we will thank you first and tell you our heart next. But we will always thank you!! In JESUS NAME. AMEN!!!

The Mask

09 Mar 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daddy and I, GOD Trust, Legacy of A Daughter, The Beginning, Transparency Tags: , ,

It’s been a while since I blogged but promise I have really been in a position where I needed to but didn’t have the time to. Today’s blog is one of true transparency. I have really been wrestling with the thought of  writing this blog.. I means it’s not serious but it is very transparent when it comes to being in a position of growth. So here goes nothing. For past hummmmm… Maybe two months I have been a position where I really wanted a move of GOD in my life. I mean a move that would not only change my life but spill over into the lives of the people that are connected to me. In sum I wanted this kingdom move. Well it happen I mean really happen. I realize it had happen when I thought about how excited I was about graduating for the third time with my third degree (no I am not finish I need my doctoral degree…LOL). I was wondering why was I so happy about graduating again… Like overly excited. I was asking the Holy Spirit to reveal it to me and then it happen. The last time I was graduating I was in the mist of a separation with my husband which would end in divorce. I called him crying telling him it would mean the world to me for him to be at my graduation,I remember the conversation and how I found myself begging this man who I was still married to, to come to the most important day in my life at that moment but his attitude towards me was horrible. I also remember after leaving dinner with my family and he how he cussed me out from Anniston, AL to Birmingham, AL in front of her (almost a hour and a half straight) … I just remember that graduation being the worst, but I also remember the prayer I prayed. “Daddy if you just give me a second change that’s all I ask. I want to know what joy is again.” Those words rung in me ear and heart even after my divorce until I just let it go. Now fast forward three years later and degree number three and that prayer is coming true. Sidebar: Daddy will allow you to pray for a thing and just when you think he has forgotten about it, he shows up and out. Lesson: Prayer works just not in your timing and it will not come in the packaging you expect. Back to the regular scheduled blog…. So needless to say I got my second chance to enjoy the moment that I work so hard for, but not only that I realize how much Daddy loves us. I mean we are always saying he is a GOD of a second chance, we read where he gives second chances, but to experience the second chance is just amazing. But this is not the purpose of this blog just the foundation. The purpose of this blog is the aftermath of the second chance. I really have been seeking and asking Daddy to use me to show himself strong in my life. That He be the father, the provider, and the I AM that is talked about in the Bible. And he has forever one that I have prayed for. Here is my mask. I am happy that everyone I have prayed, poured into, and spoke purpose in. They have  received all that they need and more, but in the back of my head with my mask on I  am asking Daddy when do I get what I have been praying for. When do I get the overflow? When will it hit my house? When will he come? When can I leave and get the promotion? I am sure I am not by myself and if I am well I will just be. I wear this mask where I am super excited about the blessings of GOD on others not thinking DADDY WHEN. I smile when inside I am crying…. Asking DADDY what do I have to do to get it!!! Then I get tired of wearing my mask and I shut down and I have to have my selfish moment… Yeah it’s a process for me. Then I have to stop ignoring the Holy Spirit and conforming to the enemy’s mindset and take a bite out of the tree of life and say to myself… GIRL it is coming just keep praying for others and watch the blessing flow. But can I be real transparent that’s hard when they are getting the thing that you prayed for, for yourself… i.e. the husband, the promotion, the move, the increase, the favor,,,, I can go on and on…. But the situation get’s better when you realize how your ability to be selfless will paralyze your ability to selfish. The mask of asking When ME Daddy can overtake you if you do not place yourself in a position to really see what the father is trying to do through you to get you to your WHEN ME DADDY moment.

Prayer: Daddy help us to be so transparent with you that we never need to put on a mask in order to deal with growth, change, and praying for others. Help us to realize that your timing for our life is so perfect that we won’t even have time to focus on the “WHEN ME DADDY” moments. Daddy help us to release these moments through faith, joy,and trust that you have not forgotten about us. Daddy secure us in your yes and Amen and let us not forget the personal promises you have spoken to us. In Jesus Name! Amen

The Position

14 Jan 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Faith Series, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, Open Heart, Wife, Wife in Training Tags: , ,

Dear Future Husband:

There are times in my life where even when I need to be vulnerable I still end up being guarded. Not because I don’t trust you with me, but because I don’t want to be a burden to you when you already have the world, all your responsibilities, and our family on your shoulders. But today I realize something it’s not my place to judge what you can and can’t handle, nor is it my place to tell you what you need and don’t need on your plate. So I apologize for taking GOD’s authority and being out of line when it comes to your strength. You can handle any and ever thing when it comes to me, if you didn’t GOD would have not place us together. He knew that there would be days that your wife would be so overwhelm with emotions. That though she is about to break on the inside she smiles on the outside and you would have the power and gift to not only identify that she was in a place that she needed to talk but you will have the ability to love her to a place of healing. You would truly take off the duties of all other responsibilities just to cater to the needs of being a covering for your wife.  Thank you. I forget that I have a partner that can handle all of me and all my emotional moments, that he will know what to say and how to say it before I could voice anything about it. Thank you for being patient with me. I forget that I am your rib and a piece of you. That you take time to talk to Daddy about me…how to deal with me… how to reveal the secrets of my heart even when I feel like my heart desires are to great and  big for me to even handle.  But today as I sat and talk with about how I was feeling a peace came over me. It was no ordinary peace. It was a peace of GOD’s love and assurance and as you talk I heard the Holy Spirit say it’s ok he can handle your heart that’s who your Daddy put you with. I also heard him say that you are his missing piece he will never devalue who you are because it would be like him devaluing himself, so let go… cry if you need to, scream if you want to, but most importantly get it out so that when you leave his presence you will know the victory of your father and you will understand that your battle is already won. So today I say thank you!!! Thank for never changing your approach with me, for being patient with me, for allowing me to glow in the end, for allowing your love to cover me, for being selfless, for being you. Thank you for always encouraging me, and realizing that my attitude has nothing to do with you or your action, but the constant healing from past hurt. Thank you for being my covering, for allowing me to be totally naked in front of you, never seeing my vulnerability as weakness but as strength. 

With A grateful heart,

A covered wife

He Loves Me

29 Dec 2015 2 Comments

by CEOTherapist22 in A cry, Daily Living, Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, Relationship, Wife, Wife in Training Tags: ,

Dear Future Husband:

If my heart could express what I was feeling today I think you would understand the unexplained emotions that I demonstrated on this morning. First let me apologize for taking my sealed and covered heart out on you. I forget that there is another part of me that I can talk to, be free with, and cry on. I forget that I am no longer this single woman seeking to be found by the one that GOD tailored made me for. I forget that you are my rock, you know things even before I express them, because you and the father have conversations about me daily. I forget that you know how I function. You know what is really wrong with me though I try to keep my mask in tack, you quickly slip it off and see my nakedness. I forget that you love me.. not the me that I reveal to you, but the me that I keep hidden. I forget that you know me! You know the heart of who I am.. You know that at night I cry because I can’t meet the world’s demands. That I want to save nations but struggle to save me. That there are times that I wish to be free but have created a bubble so big to protect me that I forgot to let you in or better yet pop it.. Future I forgot!!! I truly did!!! But I am so glad that in my outburst you took me tears and all.. and you held me. And as you held me, you spoke to the father about me. You spoke life to me, you spoke love into me, you declared and decreed things that I couldn’t see. As I cried in your arms not knowing what to do today. You took on the light of the father, and shined on me. You became my strength and though your day was busy with appointments and meetings, You cancelled them all just to be with me. To comfort me.. Take care of me. You became my superhero though I told you I didn’t need to be rescued. You became my all when I felt like I had nothing. You became everything I needed you to be and completed the assignment of the father to me. For this my heart screams thank you.. but my tears say I appreciate you. I never thought you could truly be my all in all in one breath, but you took on the assignment with a heart of GOD courage and said father give me strength, and he did that a more. Thank you for never allowing me to forget that you and I are one, and the purpose of our union is not about a person but a purpose.

With a heart of relief,

Your Grateful Wife

Proud

23 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Equipped, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, My Position, Relationship, Speaking Future Tags: , , , ,

Dear Future Husband:

You know the saying behind every great man is a great woman. I truly do not believe that. I believe beside every great man is a woman who has prayed from daily, took on his frustration when it became too much for him to burden. A woman who took her place while he was weak and needed to experience the healing of GOD. A woman that cried out to Daddy on his behalf when his words where lost. A woman who spoke life to him when he felt dead and valueless because the world, society, and even the things and people important to him told him he lost. A woman who saw him for what he was not for what he felt like. A woman willing to be whatever she needed to be in order for him to rise to greatness. So Dear Husband of mine, beside you is me. You other half, your completeness in Daddy, your soul mate, your heartbeat…. And though you were complete without me, you are whole with me.

Here for You,

Your Proudness

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