The Reality Is…

01 Feb 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Faith Series, Freedom, Healed, Marriage, Open Heart, Wife Tags: , , , , ,

This post is going to be really different because it will be comprise of several things (Dear Future Husband, Transparency, and Daddy Daughter Conversation) For the last three months I have really been in the position of student and learning. About six months ago I ask GOD to start preparing me and surrounding me with the things that a wife would have to face, because I was the position where I really desire the Man of GOD I was designed for. In that prayer I had the opportunity to experience “Wife Lessons.” Let me tell you Wife lessons are hard. I mean patience and the ability to hear has been the biggest lesson and teacher during each lesson. I am overwhelm with the revelations that Daddy has given me through every teaching moment. But the biggest lesson came when I found myself in battle in my sleep in my room at night. (Here is me being Transparent) I would find myself fight demotic spirits and one looked like someone I knew. I contact someone I trust that had the spiritual wisdom that I needed to help me understand what was going on. In our conversation she told me that I needed to record every encounter, ask Daddy about it, and realize the pattern of when the attacks happen. Before she could tell me more.. I got the revelation of the why, when, and how they happen. She then told me to explore the root of those areas and when I tell you it didn’t take me long to reveal the root. The root came from suppressed insecurity, abandonment, rejection, and giving  my body away. Because every demotic attack was a man. I was overwhelm when I realize that what I thought I was over was really a suppressed moment exposed through these attacks. I did any and everything to make sure that I look like I had it all together, even it meant acting like certain things didn’t happen, but the reality is…. What I don’t deal with in the natural got exposed in the spiritual and it gave the enemy the permission to come in and do whatever he wanted to do with me. So with all that being said I had to ask Daddy to help me recall every moment that I felt abandon, rejected, given myself away, and let me not forget unforgiveness too which lead to my insecurity. Last night I had to go into my walk in closet and make it my altar calling out everything that the Holy Spirit brought to my mind. From being divorced to being in the position of feel like the only thing that I had to offer a man was my body. I was put on the surgical table to be cut on. I asked for a clean heart and blood transfusion along with freedom. I had to remember that I have freedom in Daddy and there is no chain too strong that can’t be broke by him. It’s amazing how suppressed things will find themselves exposed no matter how much you try to keep them in. Because I was able to be place on the altar of sacrifices I now have begun to feel the freedom that Daddy promises us. It’s awesome but it’s just a piece of what I can have and I plan on having in all areas of my life. (Dear  Future Husband)

Dear Future Husband:

I realize that every time I fuss at you for your short comings I am actually frustrated with my own suppressed emotions. The ones that I feel if I present them to you, you will see me in a light that is unpleasing to you. That you will no longer see your priceless jewel, but see broken pieces of colored glass. But after laying on Daddy’s altar and presenting my body on his surgical table, he cut me open and replace my heart with his and gave me a blood transfusion that cause me to regain joy and my place in him. No longer am I upset at my short comes and no longer am I striving towards perfection but excellence. I apologize for all the times I made you feel less than a man. I apologize for making you feel like you failed me. Know that there is nothing in this world that you can do to fail me unless you stop listening to Daddy. You are my rock, you are the natural representation of GOD’s love towards me. You are his heart in the flesh. Thank you for always being so patient and forgiving. I realize that this nothing new for you, that you were prepared for this very moment because Daddy told you it was coming. But that doesn’t meant that I can’t correct my actions. I thank you for being so great and open with me every step up the way. Today as Daddy has open my heart I expose my all to you. I realize that this should have been done before now, but you knew that I would come to you sooner than later with all of my brokenness healed. Thank you for being my heart beat when I didn’t see how to love you beyond my flaws. Thank you for being the covering that you were destine to be for me. The tears that I cry right now are not of hurt and frustration any more, but gratitude and joy. I am totally grateful that you know the value of us and me. That my price in your heart never devalues but continues to gain value. I love you so much.

With a healed heart,

Your Priceless Jewel

Prayer: Daddy this was the most difficult revelation about me that I have ever had to face in a while. To know that I was in a place of bondage thinking I was free. Daddy thank you for a husband who can pray for my brokenness and not walk away as though there is not hope. Thank you for a man who sees beyond my flaws and see my freedom. Father right now I expose my flaws, heart, and mind to you. Find all the areas of insecurities in my life and cover them in the blood and destroying them with your love. For you said in your word that I fearfully and wonderfully made in you. Daddy expose every areas of doubt that I have suppressed just to fake joy. You said that I should be anxious for nothing. That you have taken on every burden that I may experience your everlasting joy. Jesus you said that you came that I can have life and life more abundantly and I accept the abundance of  life today. Daddy take away the areas of rejection that I have kept a secrete for you said in your word that your plans for my life are good and perfect. That you knew me before I was even a thought in my mother’s womb. Daddy make me whole again. You said that you are my healer, that in you I can find rest and refuge. Daddy right now I ask that every broken area and piece of me be whole in you. Thank you that the blood of your son Jesus make me new in you and your grace covers me daily. Daddy thank you for being my father. For loving me in spite of. I thank you that you will never allow anything to harm me. I bind up every attack, assignment, and ambush of the enemy that is in the works, working, and thinking about manifesting in the name of Jesus and with his blood I send them all to the pit of hell. I thank you father that ever witch, war lock, demotic spirit, or imp is bound in the name of Jesus and sent to the pit of hell and every opening, window, door, gateway, foot hold, crack, and cranny that the enemy is trying to come through has been sealed with the blood of JESUS and that the freedom of you has been released. Thank you Daddy for freedom and the healing of self inflicted wounds. Daddy I rest in your freedom, I speak your joy, I represent your glory and I thank you for your peace. In JESUS NAME AMEN

The Position

14 Jan 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Faith Series, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, Open Heart, Wife, Wife in Training Tags: , ,

Dear Future Husband:

There are times in my life where even when I need to be vulnerable I still end up being guarded. Not because I don’t trust you with me, but because I don’t want to be a burden to you when you already have the world, all your responsibilities, and our family on your shoulders. But today I realize something it’s not my place to judge what you can and can’t handle, nor is it my place to tell you what you need and don’t need on your plate. So I apologize for taking GOD’s authority and being out of line when it comes to your strength. You can handle any and ever thing when it comes to me, if you didn’t GOD would have not place us together. He knew that there would be days that your wife would be so overwhelm with emotions. That though she is about to break on the inside she smiles on the outside and you would have the power and gift to not only identify that she was in a place that she needed to talk but you will have the ability to love her to a place of healing. You would truly take off the duties of all other responsibilities just to cater to the needs of being a covering for your wife.  Thank you. I forget that I have a partner that can handle all of me and all my emotional moments, that he will know what to say and how to say it before I could voice anything about it. Thank you for being patient with me. I forget that I am your rib and a piece of you. That you take time to talk to Daddy about me…how to deal with me… how to reveal the secrets of my heart even when I feel like my heart desires are to great and  big for me to even handle.  But today as I sat and talk with about how I was feeling a peace came over me. It was no ordinary peace. It was a peace of GOD’s love and assurance and as you talk I heard the Holy Spirit say it’s ok he can handle your heart that’s who your Daddy put you with. I also heard him say that you are his missing piece he will never devalue who you are because it would be like him devaluing himself, so let go… cry if you need to, scream if you want to, but most importantly get it out so that when you leave his presence you will know the victory of your father and you will understand that your battle is already won. So today I say thank you!!! Thank for never changing your approach with me, for being patient with me, for allowing me to glow in the end, for allowing your love to cover me, for being selfless, for being you. Thank you for always encouraging me, and realizing that my attitude has nothing to do with you or your action, but the constant healing from past hurt. Thank you for being my covering, for allowing me to be totally naked in front of you, never seeing my vulnerability as weakness but as strength. 

With A grateful heart,

A covered wife

Sweet16

05 Jan 2016 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daily Living, He will, New Beginnings, The Beginning Tags: , , , , ,

Well it’s that time of the year again. The time we talk about the new beginnings of a new year. The time were we sit and think about what we want to accomplish, speak into the atmosphere, and just really press towards. I am super excited about 2016! I mean it’s the year of the expectation of Daddy. I am really ready to see the promises of what Daddy’s YES and AMEN looks like aren’t you? Well with all this expectation and excitement can I talk to you about new beginnings and how to really look at 2016?

As children of Daddy we forget three things when it comes to our new beginnings in a new year. These things are: Last year’s lessons, Daddy will for us, and faith. Yep, these three things are things we forget to continue to incorporate in our new beginnings. Let’s talk about he first one “Last year’s lessons.” I don’t know about you but last year was the greatest lesson plan that I think Daddy could prepare for me. I lost my mother’s side of the family with disconnect due to the death of my grandmother, had to move out of the house I lived in for 15 years into an apartment with my mother, lost my daddy’s mother whom I was close with but never got the full closure I needed from her death, because my cousin got into an major accident on the way to funeral and I saw it all; and last I was in a major car accident in another state that left me with a totaled car. What lessons!?! Well let me tell you what I got from all of that which were great lessons for me to apply to 2016. Lesson 1. Never ever allow what you feel to predict your assignment. You are not your own, you are just a steward of the body you were given. This life you live is not about you and your glory, but about you completing the assignments that Daddy has give you the honor to carry out. Never allow how you feel to dictate how you respond to life and its situations no matter how much you feel it will bring productivity to the situation. Lesson 2. Have faith and stay faithful. Hum, I think I am about to cry about this lesson. Because it’s hard to have faith when your integrity is being drugged through the mud by family, you have so many life changes going on that you don’t know if you are coming or going, and you feel like you about to lose it, but you never do. But can I tell you if Daddy is faithful you can be faithful too. Because his track record in your life is greater than the moment of foolish and temporariness that is cause by others or yourself. Lesson 3. Always rest. I know this can be hard when you are looking for answers, solutions, and resolutions to life, but if you rest in the peace, love, and joy of GOD he will become your strength and the rest you thought you would never experience will be one that you desire more and more every day. Lesson 4. Change your vision. How you see things are not how things are actually seen. (that’s deep I know). What you see in your face doesn’t hold value to what Daddy is doing behind the scene. I am always reminded of the story where the prophet Elisha prayed that his servant’s eyes be open during a time of war. And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. (2Kings 6:17) It wasn’t until he prayed for the spiritual vision of his servant that he could see the true vision of victory. Always know that fight is rigged you win every time all you have to do is show up. Here is the final lesson. Lesson 5. Stand on the word of GOD. His words will not return to him without purpose. “so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)

So now you have the lessons you need to enjoy your new beginning apply them to your 2016 and watch Daddy do what he does best…manifest greatness!

Prayer: Daddy as we go into our new beginning help us to never forsake the lessons of our last year or the years before, let us always have the mentality of a student that seeks to learn more  and the characteristics of a child humble, but assured that there is nothing to big or hard for our daddy to do. Let us always remain in the place of faith, hope, and love, realizing that nothing is ever in our control only yours. Let us always speak life where death tries to rest, remaining assured that your word will not return to you void. But Daddy most importantly let us never take your grace and mercy for granted. Let us always be in the position were we realize tomorrow is never promise to us ; therefore, we will rest in today and allow you to take care of tomorrow as we complete what you have called us to and become great stewards of the the life you allow us to live, no matter what our expectations for it is.  In Jesus Name AMEN!

He Loves Me

29 Dec 2015 2 Comments

by CEOTherapist22 in A cry, Daily Living, Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, Relationship, Wife, Wife in Training Tags: ,

Dear Future Husband:

If my heart could express what I was feeling today I think you would understand the unexplained emotions that I demonstrated on this morning. First let me apologize for taking my sealed and covered heart out on you. I forget that there is another part of me that I can talk to, be free with, and cry on. I forget that I am no longer this single woman seeking to be found by the one that GOD tailored made me for. I forget that you are my rock, you know things even before I express them, because you and the father have conversations about me daily. I forget that you know how I function. You know what is really wrong with me though I try to keep my mask in tack, you quickly slip it off and see my nakedness. I forget that you love me.. not the me that I reveal to you, but the me that I keep hidden. I forget that you know me! You know the heart of who I am.. You know that at night I cry because I can’t meet the world’s demands. That I want to save nations but struggle to save me. That there are times that I wish to be free but have created a bubble so big to protect me that I forgot to let you in or better yet pop it.. Future I forgot!!! I truly did!!! But I am so glad that in my outburst you took me tears and all.. and you held me. And as you held me, you spoke to the father about me. You spoke life to me, you spoke love into me, you declared and decreed things that I couldn’t see. As I cried in your arms not knowing what to do today. You took on the light of the father, and shined on me. You became my strength and though your day was busy with appointments and meetings, You cancelled them all just to be with me. To comfort me.. Take care of me. You became my superhero though I told you I didn’t need to be rescued. You became my all when I felt like I had nothing. You became everything I needed you to be and completed the assignment of the father to me. For this my heart screams thank you.. but my tears say I appreciate you. I never thought you could truly be my all in all in one breath, but you took on the assignment with a heart of GOD courage and said father give me strength, and he did that a more. Thank you for never allowing me to forget that you and I are one, and the purpose of our union is not about a person but a purpose.

With a heart of relief,

Your Grateful Wife

Just Running Across My Mind

28 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Faith Series, Speaking Future Tags: , ,

Dear Future Husband:

As I sit here thinking about you. I hear the Jill Scott song in my head..”Just Running Across My Mind.” The lyrics that stick out to me that describes you are…. ” I love seeing you walk into a room… across the room, out of the room… I just love what you do… Then I added my own lyrics…I love seeing you smile… I love that I motivate you… I love your passion… I love that you want to save the nations, but you are taking care of our family fi…rst. I love that you can be my personal superhero yet vulnerable enough to accept help.I am just in love with all of you.Totally grateful that you are willing to spend the rest of your life being in ministry with me.

Committed to You,

Your Pearl

Covering

27 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Faith Series, My Position, Relationship, Speaking Future Tags: , , , , ,

Dear Future Husband:

There are no words in the world that can express my thank you. Thank you for the many times you filled up my car because I forgot to put gas in it on the was home. Thank you for making sure that dinner was ready after a long night at the office, even though you had a long day. Thank you for holding me when my friend came to visit me those cramps can be a pain….LOL! Thank you  for holding my hand when I gave birth to our children and the midnight runs you made when I was craving crazy things. Thank you for making me laugh when all I wanted to do is cry, because my efforts to save the world today failed. Thank you for speaking life when things seem dead and making sure I remember the promises of GOD. Thank you for being a great father to our children, providing stability, love, laughter, and memories to our home. But most importantly thank you for praying over me and watching over me when I am sleep. There are times that I wake up and it seems that your eyes are close, but then in a quite still voice I hear you praying for me. Asking the father to guide and cover me. I hear you thanking him for our marriage, family, and legacy. I hear you asking him to guide you in new way to love me and fall in love with me over and over again. It’s during these moments that my heart becomes full and I realize how great of a covering you are to me. I try not to cry… But tears start to form in my eyes and I too begin to speak to Daddy about us. I start crying out for your heart, asking Daddy to guide you to the next level in him in peace, while restoring your joy. I ask Daddy to heal all the broken pieces that you never speak of. That he pours out vision and goals beyond your hearts desire and that he guide you to love me and how I should love you in all areas of our marriage. Future  your covering means more to me next to GOD himself. Without you I feel so incomplete, but with you I am covered. You are the heart of GOD for me and to me in flesh. For than I am grateful.

With A Heart of Yes,

Your Heartbeat

Holiday Grief Encouragement Edition

23 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daily Living, Encouragement, Grief, Mental Health Tags: , , , ,

Wow what a year right? I never thought that in my years in the mental health profession that I would be experiencing so much holiday grief. I am always educating my clients on how to deal with their grief in a healthy way and ways to get through their grief without being in a place of isolation, depression, and most importantly silence. Today I have come to share some encouragement as I am able to identify with being a griever and  a person that helps with grief. It’s amazing how all the things that you learned about the area of grief is hard to apply when you are in the process of grief. Now before I go into my encouragement let me just educate you on grief. Grief happens everyday in your life. If you lose your keys and they are not where you thought you put them when you are ready for them you go through the stages of grief which are: Denial, Barging, Anger,Depression, Acceptance. This is not a step by step process you can go from denial straight into acceptance skipping the others then back to barging.  But how does losing keys even come close to grief. Well let me explain… Say you were looking for your keys and they are not where you put them, because you are convince that they should be there you are in denial that they could be any where else. After you realize they are not where you put them you go searching in different places analyzing where they could be this is your barging stage. After looking and searching for what seems to be hours you start entering into your anger state.  Once you get over your anger you now start to be in a depression moment thinking you will never find your keys again, then it happens either you stumble upon them or someone finds them for you and when this happen you enter your acceptance stage. Get it?!? Good now let’s apply that same concept to the lost of a love one or thing (i.e. job, relationship, self-confidence, etc.) Say you had a love one that was sick and you knew their was no bouncing back. Well it seems to you that they are getting better and show signs of improvement,  then they become sick again and this time worst,  because you have been here before and they have gotten better you become in Denial about them being too sick to come back. After this  the medical staff tells you that they only have a certain time to live you then start to bargain. Now this can be within yourself, family, or  Daddy. After this you go into the anger state because you see that Daddy is not healing the way you think he should and death is the result of their illness. After realizing the death of your love one you then become depressed from their absence. After time in depression you realize that there are things that you can do to preserve their legacy and life and you do those things, which pushes you into acceptance. But a year after their death you find yourself depressed on their death date, and you now feel the steps of grief beginning.  So here is my encouragement to you when you feel the steps of grief coming through:

  1. Speak up… Silence will manifest itself physically if you do not deal with it. You find yourself sick with something the doctor can’t cure or figure out what’s wrong.
  2. Laugh… This is easier said than done, but is necessary to your healing process, The Bible says that laughter does the heart good like medicine. So take you a dose
  3. Connect with people that know your heart. Their are people in your circle that know that the holidays are hard for you and they are willing and ready to be their for you.
  4. Be open. It goes with one, but this goes a little deeper, this means that you have to want the help that is being offered to you. You are not a burden, or even getting on their nerves they know what you need, they are just waiting on you to ask for it.
  5. Have a memorial… This can be done with or without family. You can light a candle, decorate a tree or wreath, do a particular act that the person was known for, share pictures of great moments, or you can go celebrate that persons. But whatever you do, do not isolate yourself.
  6. Ask for help… this can be the only time you don’t have it together and that is fine, but know there are people willing to help you through this tough time, but they don’t want to push the help, they just waiting on your cue to move.

I hope these things help and I hope you understand that holiday grief is ok, if you handle it in a healthy way.

 

 

Proud

23 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Encouragement, Equipped, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, My Position, Relationship, Speaking Future Tags: , , , ,

Dear Future Husband:

You know the saying behind every great man is a great woman. I truly do not believe that. I believe beside every great man is a woman who has prayed from daily, took on his frustration when it became too much for him to burden. A woman who took her place while he was weak and needed to experience the healing of GOD. A woman that cried out to Daddy on his behalf when his words where lost. A woman who spoke life to him when he felt dead and valueless because the world, society, and even the things and people important to him told him he lost. A woman who saw him for what he was not for what he felt like. A woman willing to be whatever she needed to be in order for him to rise to greatness. So Dear Husband of mine, beside you is me. You other half, your completeness in Daddy, your soul mate, your heartbeat…. And though you were complete without me, you are whole with me.

Here for You,

Your Proudness

My Future

23 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Dear Future Husband Series, Legacy of A Daughter, Marriage, Relationship, Speaking Future Tags: , , , ,

About a couple weeks ago my little sister posted a note on her Facebook page to her future husband. It has been three years since I even was able to address a note to a husband and after three years I realizes it’s time to talk to him again. No I am not married, but it’s time to prepare my conversation with him again. As I was reading her note I heard the Holy Spirit say… write yours…. Where is yours? I realize that though I hope for a husband soon in my future, my conversations with him would be limited since I wouldn’t know where to start. So for the next week or so I will be writing my love notes to my future husband, wherever he may be. I realize that 2016 is a year of GOD expectation and can I tell you I am expecting Daddy to move since in 2015 I have really had to deal with total loses. I lose both my grandmothers, housing, and my car was totaled. When I tell you this has been a Daddy year it truly has been, because without his peace I would not know that my future exist… So take this journey with me as I prepare for my future husband. I spoke until the end of 2015 but I feel that this journey will turn into a lifestyle. So as we move into the next level of Daddy Daughter Conversations become aware that Daddy is preparing you for the assignment of your future. Faith is speaking into existence, the evidence that you hope to manifest in your favor.

Faith Is ….

02 Dec 2015 Leave a comment

by CEOTherapist22 in Daily Living, Faith Series, GOD Trust, Legacy of A Daughter Tags: , , , ,

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Hebrews 11:1 | NIV

What a verse right!!! I mean it seems so easy to understand and comprehend that it should cause us to act in faith daily right?!? Well let’s look at the father of faith, the one who had so many descendants that he could not count them. The same man that had to wait 25 years just to see the promise of GOD to come true.  Let me back that up…25 years to wait on GOD, to manifest what he spoke !!! Let me give you the BCV (book, chapter, verse) on that In Genesis 12:1-4  The promise was given to Abraham in these verses were instructions on how to obtain this promise and what to do in his wait. Genesis 17:17, five chapters later, the promise is manifested and by this time Abraham is 100 years old.  So what do you do when you wait 25 years for a promise but by the time GOD manifest it you seem like you are unqualified for the promise you have been praying for? That’s deep.. Let me simplify that for you so you can get the revelation that I got. Abraham prayed to Daddy for a son, he believe and Daddy said to him I heard you and you will get that and more. You got that part? Ok So He waits 25 years for the YES to manifest from Daddy and after the Yes is manifested Abraham says to Daddy  I am no longer qualified for the prayer I prayed or even ready for the promise…

WOW!!! I am sorry if I lose it for a minute, but how many times have you told Daddy you are not ready for the one thing you have been praying for. You have spoke it in faith for the first five years of your prayer life but after years of speaking you give up and when it comes to pass you find yourself feeling unequipped for the blessing or the manifestation. WOW!!! That blows my mind because  we seek to want the blessings and the promises of GOD but we never want to be in the place of waiting.

So what is faith for real? Let’s take the scripture that I started the post with and break it down with the revelation that we get from the story of Abraham’s wait. So Hebrews 11:1 says: Now faith is. Let’s stop there. From these three words we can learn that faith is a very present thing that happen constantly. That means that faith has no expiration date. It means that faith is use today, yesterday, and forever more. Now, to the next part of that scripture… confidence in what we hope for Whew!! I think I am about to blow my own mind. In order to have faith you must have confidence not in the act of faith, but in  pursuit of faith as well as the Yes of GOD.  Let me make that clear for you… It simply means… I must have confidence that when I speak it in the present then my today, yesterday, and tomorrow will always be prepared for  manifestation of it even if I have to wait for it…. Now that’s deep. Let’s look at the last part of the scripture…. and assurance about what we do not see. Ok so if you are like me you like to see the things of GOD, and not just the words of GOD. .. It’s the error of our human nature right?!? Well in order to have true faith you must be assured about what we do not see.. this simply means that we must be in the position where we know what we have faith in is in line with what GOD has already said. So in summary faith is speaking back to Daddy what he has spoke to us with confidence and assurance that His word shall never return to him void no matter how long we have to wait for it.

Prayer: Daddy thank you for the ability to have faith, exercise it, and pursue it with the heart of confidence not in us but in you. We love you Daddy and there is nothing like you. We seek to be your daughters and sons of faith yielding to the promises you have for us and learning the benefits of waiting. In Jesus Name Amen!

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